miércoles, 24 de agosto de 2011

Spill the Beans

As I was sitting in church this past Sunday I had a revealing thought. I couldn't even tell you what was said in the sermon or worship song that brought upon this thought. The sermon, preached by a wonderful teacher here named Craig Beatty, was about Abraham and many new thoughts on the story of sacrificing were mentioned. My epiphany didn't have much to do with Abraham, I don't think, unless it was a tangent thought that resulted from something mentioned in the sermon. My mind went to specific stressors that I have been dealing with in my job here, and I realized that in all the things I've prayed about since I arrived here, I have not talked to God about my classroom. That's crazy! That is why I am here, and I haven't even thought to say "Hey God, so this is what is beginning to stress me out in my job..."

Earlier today I was reminded of this again, when I was explaining to some friends another unrelated situation that stresses me out. Yet, I haven't been talking to God about that either. So just now I made a list of other things that I really haven't been praying about, and they are some pretty common threads of thoughts and emotions in my daily life. Hmm....

If God is our Father, or Papa Dios as he is known on this island, then why aren't I talking to him about these everyday things that direct my thoughts and actions? Perhaps somethings are difficult to face God with, because I know what He will tell me and it's uncomfortable with. Or perhaps I just don't think to talk to Him about it. There are different reasons for different situations I assume, however God is our Father. If God is the Father, shouldn't we be the child that at the end of the day curls up in his lap and just spill our beans about our day, as insignificant as some things may appear? Wouldn't Papa Dios want to hear anything that we have to say, just as any father would feel about a conversation with his child? The Gospels do tell us that God has a softspot for children and we should have faith like them. Perhaps I am taking that out of context, yet perhaps that encompasses talking to Him about anything and everything we can think of, because that is what we would do with our parents as a child. Let me know your thoughts!

lunes, 22 de agosto de 2011

Irene

Last night I faced my first official tropical storm, which was upgraded to a category 1 hurricane. Irene was very loud and windy, however all is well. Our electricity is back on and there really isn't much damage outside of some tree branches and fruit down on the ground. I haven't been out in the streets, but I have heard there were some streets closed for flooding. Thank you everyone for your prayers!

sábado, 20 de agosto de 2011

The Kites of El Morro

     After a long, hard work week, I decided that I will make sure I relax and have fun this weekend. After spending last night with some good friends having a girl's night with cookies and chick flicks, today was filled with beach time and Old San Juan. While walking around Old San Juan, I was amazed at how gorgeous the city is with the Old Spanish architectural influence in the small and windy streets. There are two Spanish forts, one that wraps around the coast line of the city. It is called El Morro and it is open to the public as almost a park area. It the open space people go and fly kites. Unfortunately I did not have my camera to take a photograph, but try to imagine an old fort wall overlooking the sea with kites filling the sky. It's really an amazing thing to see. Or you could just Google it, and you will see what I had the privilege to see today.

     Earlier this week my good friend Anna shared an excerpt from a book by author Donald Miller. It is part of the introduction to Through Painted Deserts. I sat in her apartment telling her how much I love it here. I have no desire to leave Puerto Rico, I just wish I could have those that I love at home here with me. I cannot have both worlds at the same time though. Right now I would like to share some of the words from this book that she shared with me:

     I could not have known then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like the seasons; they have to, or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way..... Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.
     I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because I was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently.
     .... And my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?
     It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.
     I want to repeat one word for you: Leave.
     Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You will never be alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you that will have changed.
    
    Those are chilling words to someone like me. Chilling, yet comforting, knowing that I am in His hands. I am not even sure how to put into words how it feels right now, knowing how eerily those words apply to my life right now. Thinking that my life is so important to God that He has had me leave, to change, to shine out so that I can be a different person, the person He wants me to be. Yet these words can apply to anyone, anyone who is willling to let Him in.    

viernes, 12 de agosto de 2011

The Best Kind of Mail

     It is such a wonderful feeling to get one's own things in the mail. That sounds silly, but when you are thousands of miles away and have shipped your own things and then proceed to wait weeks for them to arrive, it feels good when they finally do. Four out of my five boxes of my personal and teaching items that I shipped from home are here. I'm trying not to be worried about the fifth box, yet it's difficult as it contains many of my teaching files. As for the others, it's not that it's a good feeling to have material things here, but to see MY things. When I'm in a brand new place with no idea on when I will ever be moving back, it's such a relief to open up boxes of my books, my jewelry, my shoes and purses, my teaching supplies, my Spanish books (now I have no excuse, I must get to work), my photographs. Although I can replace many of these things, it's just an extra comfort to be able to hold onto the things that are already mine and carry so many memories.

     I only wish that my family was in those boxes too.

     I have completed my first two days of school. My first two days as a real teacher. It's honestly an odd feeling, knowing that this is me, I'm in charge of the room, and only me. Everything in that classroom, kids included, are under my control. This is it. Given the circumstances of it being the first days of school with 5 year olds, and with it being my first year teaching, as well as the fact I'm in a brand new school, culture, and I have students who don't understand a word I say in English, the first couple of days went very well. Nothing was out of the ordinary of the regular first days of school type of stress. My students are amazing so far, and I cannot wait to get settled into the year and really get to know and teach them. I am in for quite an interesting year. Right now it's still so overwhelming though. Yet, God is good. God is very, very good.

miércoles, 10 de agosto de 2011

This Isn't a Mission Trip Anymore

     I've been here for just over two weeks now, and I think it has finally hit me. I'm not on a mission trip. This is real, I am living here, and I'm not going home. As much as I love it here (because I do!), as much as God is pouring out his grace and love, and as many wonderful people that are like family to me here, my own family and friends from home are not here with me. I'm so busy and have a meaningful life here, yet that doesn't keep me from missing home. I really miss my family.

    

domingo, 7 de agosto de 2011

Papa Dios

     I was informed today that many Puerto Ricans refer to God as Papa Dios. As you have guessed, this is the same as referring to God as the Father, as a father, yet it has a more personal connotation to it. It's putting God at the most personal father figure, and by calling God "Papa Dios," it is saying that God is your personal father, who will take care of you and love you and be everything a father is to his child. My life here in Puerto Rico, as short as it has been, has been nothing but God telling me that he truly is my Papa Dios.
  
     Today's church sermon was about Jonah. I have heard the story of Jonah a hundred times, however today I seemed to hear it differently. In Jonah 1:1 it says that the "word of the Lord came to Jonah." This is when God commanded him to go to Ninevah, and he didn't do what God said, yet he listened. Jonah listened to God. How often do I listen, I mean really listen to God? How often do I make the point to actually sit down with God and listen to him to hear what he wants to tell me? Do I want to hear what God truly wants to tell me? Jonah ran away from God, and 1:4 says "God sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose..."  God sent the storm. Sometimes storms are a good things. They hurt, they are painful and confusing, but there are times when God needs us to be in a storm. Why? When we are in a storm we need God. That is when God draws us close to him as the only one who can save us. After Jonah was thrown overboard, verse 17 says "But the Lord provided a great fish to swallow Jonah..." God PROVIDED a fish. This fish saved Jonah's life. He would've drowned without it and God knew that. Yes it was smelly, disgusting, and dark, yet he was rescued from the storm. Not only that, but when you are all by yourself inside a whale, who else are you going to turn to but to God? God isolated him so that Jonah was forced to face God. After this Jonah understood, and he turned to God in prayer. His prayer was full of distress, yet it was also full of praise and recognition of who God is. Actually, the whole prayer is quoted from the Psalms. After his prayer, it was over. The storm was over, the smelly fish was over, and his troubles were over for the time being. Does this mean all we have to do is pray and God will take our hardships away immediately? No. If, however, we run to God and seek him as our Papa Dios, this storm will end. No storm lasts forever.

     I can honestly say that this sermon struck me more than I expected it to. I sat in church so overwhelmed with emotion, knowing that God was talking to me. Have I been running away from him? Not entirely, however without going into much detail, the past couple of years have been rough on our relationship. I've been in a storm and I haven't known what to do about it. Today I felt Papa Dios just letting me know that my storm is finally over. Everything that I have been upset about, begging God for, pleading with God to show me and give me for so long, he has poured over and over me since the day I arrived here in Puerto Rico. I cannot even begin to list all of the incredible blessings and I don't deserve them. After talking to some of my friends about this here today, asking why God would give me all of this at once, the only answer that we could come up with is grace. For the first time, maybe ever, I understand what the phrase "grace pouring over me" means. Sitting in church this morning I felt God's love, his blessings, his provisions, his responses to my many doubts and questions, all just pouring over me in a way I could not explain. That's an incredible (and emotional) experience. This is Papa Dios.

     By the way I am in an apartment. A family that is involved in the church and school has an apartment above their house that they are renting out for me. Here is one blessing that I am excited to explain. This family has offered me this apartment that is completely furnished, has all kitchen supplies and appliances that I need, has light and water included in the price, has internet and cable included, and is very close to the school and many of the teachers in the school. It is absolutely everything that I was looking for but wasn't expecting to get, and at a price $100 cheaper a month than other apartments I was willing to settle with. This family just met me and they wanted to help me out so much they offered it to me. Not only that, there is a car that I will be able to use until I can save up money to buy one here. The real blessing in all of this is the family. They are a very godly, warm, helpful family. Today the father, whom I haven't spoken to before, pulls me aside at church to tell me that I am not a tenant, I am his family now. Even my friends here are overwhelmed with how much of a blessing this is. My gratitude for this family and for God is beyond words at this point.

     Many people, including myself, use the term "blessing" in a tone that almost sounds cheesy. Since I have been here, though, I truly understand what it means. When it comes from Papa Dios, it takes on a whole new meaning. All of my needs are provided. I cannot think of one single thing I am in need of right now. All financial and daily living needs are provided. All classroom needs have been provided. I have a church in which the Spirit is working so strongly and a community of friends that I will be working and serving with in true fellowship.

    Papa Dios es bueno. Papa Dios es amor.

Puerto Rico Fun Fact: The highest grossing Borders bookstore is located in Puerto Rico. Or was, as Borders is about to be non-existent :(

lunes, 1 de agosto de 2011

Insanity and Good Hair Days

    Insanity is referring my day and the stress that comes with moving to a different country on a very tight budget, as well others that are moving here this week. Good Hair Days, unfortunately, is not a reference to myself, thanks to this humidity. In the midst of all the chaos of running errands, finding apartments, and getting settled in, my good friend was able to look for the silver lining- at least she had a good hair day today. It's the little things I suppose for her, and the comedic relief for the rest of us.

     Today I have been checking out apartments and trying to get my classroom in order. Both of these tasks have the potential to become stressful in themselves. I have to keep reminding myself that both of these tasks will get sorted, and that they are insignificant in comparison with the many blessings that I have received from God since I arrived. This weekend has been a reminder of how much God loves us and the beautiful things He places in our lives and on this earth. This week we have a church group visiting from North Carolina, and this weekend was spent joining in on their mission trip fun. Saturday we drove about an hour west to Utuado to visit two caves. The first was La Ventana, and as those who know me can attest, caves are my favorite places in the world to visit. If possibly I could just move into one, my cheap living arrangement puzzle could be solved. After visiting this cave (which was GORGEOUS), we drove to Arecibo to visit another cave called La Cueve del Indio. At this site there was much to explore, including a cave with indigeneous Indian writing. After that we explored the rock on the coast line where other smaller caves rested within the water. There is no way to begin to explain how beautiful this place was, except even a postcard wouldn't do it justice. It makes me wonder what God was thinking when He created places this beautiful, as if He laughed to Himself knowing all the people that would be in giddy awe when they saw it. All I kept saying was "I get to live here!!!! I get to live here!!!!" Once I have the time, photos will be posted :)

     Yesterday we went with the North Carolina group to Old San Juan. We passed out lunches and clothes to the homeless. It was an incredible experience on many levels. Personally, it was the first time I was able to get to know some of the church members. Serving with them and the group from NC was a reminder of what God expects us to do with our lives: love Him, love others. I love my new church here, Toa Baja Christian Church, and if I was able to feel such a deep connection with God and others on the first Sunday, I can only imagine what the future brings with my involvement. Although we did not receive much interest on the clothes, we were able to feed lunch to 120 homeless men and women. I learned that many homeless from the states are actually here in Puerto Rico. How they got here is questionable, wether on their own accord or not. Either way, that is not a fact that settles well inside of me.

     Speaking of the incredible blessings God has sent my way, let me tell you about those people God has placed in my life here in the PR. Since I arrived I have had the chance to meet with and connect with so many people from the school and church. The main thing is that I feel so taken care of. Those here are helping me every step of the way, wether it's calling about apartments, taking me to the grocery store, or just spending time with me. If I went into all the many people and all the ways that I am being encouraged and helped, then this blog would never end. Over time I do hope to introduce many of them to you. We have three more people coming this week to work at the church. They are finishing up a program at Johnson Bible College and will be getting here Tuesday and Wednesday. Please pray for them for their travel and for God's provision in figuring out how to do life here! Two of them, a young couple, have never visited Puerto Rico before, so their move is quite a leap of faith.

     Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. So much has happened in the past few days, and it seems like all of it worth sharing. My internet availability is inconsistent at this point, so I am not sure how often I will be able to post for awhile. Thanks again for all of your support, prayers, and encouragement. Please pray for me, that I may find a suitable apartment and begin to raise financial support so that I may begin to save for a car. I miss everyone at home so much!

Fun fact about Puerto Rico: San Juan is the oldest establishment in U.S. territory. Many think that it is St. Augustine in Florida, however San Juan was established first! Ponce de Leon has an important role in both Florida and Puerto Rico.