Oh How God Changes Our Plans...

Wow.  It has literally been 13 months since I remembered I had a blog.  Thankfully I remembered the password and can utilize it once more.  Will I keep up with it? Who knows.  Perhaps if I have more nights when I can't sleep and have nothing better to do.

So, this blog was intended to record my many adventures and thoughts about my time in Puerto Rico.  This time last week I believed that my life on the island was about finished.  All year I've been planning to leave and I've been working hard applying for jobs in Kentucky.  God seems to have other plans for me.  It had been weighing heavily on my heart to reconsider returning here for one more year.  I could have waited faithfully all summer for an answer from God and still pursued a career at home, or I could save myself the misery and discuss the possibility of remaining here with my family before summer even begins and make a decision and go with it.  There are a handful of reasons why I feel like I need to return, however once I have made that decision God has made it clear that this is where I need to be.

It has been a difficult year to say the least.  It has included personal pain and heartache (you know, the girly kind that I embarrassingly worked through), followed by many spiritual attacks on so many of my loved ones here.  Oh and I started grad school and had a very busy working life this year to top it off.  What can I say?  When good things are happening the enemy will attack.  That would be a summary of this last year here in Puerto Rico.  But when the enemy attacks he really is only fighting against God.  We all know how that ends up.  What doesn't kill us makes us stronger as individuals and even stronger as group of believes who are in this together.  I have never had stronger relationships and support outside of my own blood family.  So even though it is killing me to spend another year away from my actual family, I just feel that my Puerto Rican family is not one I should walk away from just yet.

In a little over a week I will be home in Cincinnati for the summer. I'm stoked and can't wait to be with my parents, siblings and nephews.  This summer will be a summer to enjoy them, and also of prayer.  I will be praying that God makes my ministry for this next year clear to me, so I can choose a direction in Puerto Rico that will be fruitful to him.

One thing that does come to mind before I go to bed... it has been clear for two years in a row (but for two different reasons) God has wanted me to remember the same promise from Exodus 14:14:  The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.

Seriously, I'm not the best blogger in the world.

So next week rings in the month of May. The last blog I had on here was in January. I'm so great at keeping you all updated on my life in Puerto Rico! Ugh... I do apologize but I figure I talk to a lot of you on Facebook, text, email, etc. So maybe that has kept you all updated enough. I hope.

Now that my apology (to some degree) is out of the way, can I please update you on my life here in Puerto Rico?

Of course, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my students! I feel like I have been falling in love with them more and more. We have been having such a fantastic year, and I have watched them grow into reading, writing, Jesus loving, recycling, fun loving crazy kids! The crazy part was added because there is less than a month of school yet, so they've gotten into their crazy mode. It won't go away, so I need to embrace it and be crazy with them I suppose. Yesterday as a class we realized that I only had 20 days left of being their teacher, and we had a sad moment together :( I am just aching for summer to get here so I can go home, but truth be told when it gets to the end of my time with them, I will be very sad. Anyone who has known me as I had to depart from a group of kids that I've worked with will know how devastated I feel when it is time to say good-bye to my students. Oh, I just love them SO much!!! Here's a photo of them so you can see and love them too!

What else is exciting here besides my kindergartners? Just about everything!!! I've had the best weekend and week, but with the high school kids. Last weekend we held a retreat for the 7th-11th graders. The theme of the retreat was along the lines of Mission Impossible, but of course, the mission is possible. The retreat was phenomenal!!!!! All of the kids and staff just enjoyed every bit of it, from the worship, to the games, to our amazing speaker RoRo Eustache from Haitian Christian Outreach. He shared so many stories and the faith of him and his people with our kids this past weekend. Many of you many know him or have heard him speak, and you know how much of a blessing it is to hear him. He is a man that Christ shines through in volumes. If I can say one thing about the retreat, it is this: God was there! God was at work, and there is absolutely no doubt in that!!!!

We also had a group from Louisville, KY come for the retreat to help us out, and again, there was God doing His work. This group was composed of some of the most down-to-earth and godly people you could meet. They really connected with all of us here in Puerto Rico, and even though we only knew them for a few days, we all felt a little heartache when they left. The good news is they are close to where I live at home, and now I'm very excited about visiting with them this summer. We all really appreciated and cherished their time with us. Why don't I show you a photo of them also? I'll put a photo of RoRo there too.

Thanks everyone who has been praying and sending encouragements. I cannot wait to get home and see you all shortly!!!!

Here and Now

It has been well over a month since I have updated my blog. Here is an update: God is good. God is so good and He gives me well over the limit of what I actually deserve.

Since I blogged last, I was able to fly home to Cincinnati for three wonderful weeks. I tell you what, I do love living here in Puerto Rico, but there is NO place like home. Home was what I needed. My family, my friends. Odd how a bit of my decision to move to Puerto Rico almost felt like an escape, and then to return again was also a similar feeling. Perhaps leaving is what I needed to realize how much I actually do love and appreciate home. In my Life Plan, I will return to live, teach, and minister in Cincinnati. It feels right, but I never know what God has in store. Who does? (p.s. If you've figured it out, pass it on) However, I am the type of person who, let's be honest, over analyzes basically everything, and once I know what I am doing right now, I can't stop obsessing over the next step.

I didn't make any resolutions for the new year, but perhaps it should be to stop obsessing over the future and focus on the "here and now." So I am. And what is the "here and now?" Well, it's 22 students that I have promised to love and educate. It's a church that I have promised to serve in. It's a group of people here who have decided to love and support me just because they can. I'd say that God has indeed blessed me beyond what I deserve right now.

Everyone needs a break!

Right now I am looking at my calendar and realizing that tomorrow is December 9th. I'm amazed, because I go outside during the day and it's in the 80's. It so difficult to grasp the idea that it's Christmas time. The weather obviously isn't going to be an indicator of this for my mind, but the stress and the craziness around me is. Fact: Kids are crazy the weeks leading up to a break from school. They may be good kids, but they are hyper. Everyone around me is feeling the craziness and it seems like everyone just needs a break right now. Myself included. Thankfully my school has a longer break for the holidays, because Puerto Rico celebrates Three Kings Day early in January. This gives me more time at home. I will be flying home to Ohio late in the evening on Monday, December 19th. This cannot come any sooner. No matter how much I love my life here, a girl just needs a bit of home sometimes. I could use a good dose of my family and friends, and a good dose of Cincinnati right now.

Just tonight I was posting on the Facebook wall of someone I was close to when I lived in Spain more than four years ago. I haven't really spoken to her much since, and she just now created a Facebook page for herself. It is such a good feeling to know that I can connect with her so much easier now. This lead my mind on a trip down memory lane and I began looking at pictures from my trip in Spain in my Facebook albums. This lead me to look at many more of my photos, and as I was doing that I had a realization: I am only 25 and my life has been ridiculously fulfilling up to this point. Just my Facebook photos alone show that, and that's only been in the past 5 years or so. I'm in awe look at my life as a whole through my Facebook albums. All at once, I am speechless to my God for what He has provided for me. All of the people He's placed in my life, those who will be here forever or those who come in for just a short time. All of the places He has sent me. All of the experiences and accomplishments I have had. Wow. God is incredible. God is good. How can I ever complain again that my life doesn't make sense?

Please pray for everyone here in Puerto Rico with me as we can make it through the final stretch until we embark on a much needed break. Also, many of us are traveling back to the States. Please pray for our safety as we do so!

Happy Thanksgiving!

This has been one of the busiest weeks I've experienced as a teacher in a long time. Possibly the busiest. In the three days of school this week we have been celebrating Thanksgiving and Puerto Rico. Last night at school we held an event called Noche de Puerto Rico. Each class was able to represent a different area of Puerto Rico. My kindergarteners represented Rio Grande and El Yunque Rainforest. They sang a song about the coqui frogs and they were adorable! Even though this past week has been ridiculously busy and stressfull, I will admit that I am glad that the events occured. The past few days have also been an incredible bonding experience between my students and I!

This Thanksgiving morning I can honestly say that I feel so blessed and grateful to God for what He has given me here. At the end of a short and extremely stressfull week, I found myself sitting on my couch this morning with three wonderful friends relaxing and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Thousands of miles away, I can slow down and be surrounded by loved ones while still celebrating the same traditions that I'm used to each year. I miss my family, but I am not alone on this holiday. Now, two types of pumpkin pies and a batch of cranbarry pumpkin muffins later, we are all going to get together again for Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Community and closeness is not lacking here on the island.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! And may God be with you (seriously) as you head out to do your Black Friday shopping tonight/tomorrow. I myself am avoiding the stores and will take the day to relax and then prepare for some of the girls to come over for some Christmas treats and a Christmas movie :)

Jehovah-Jireh

The Israelites used many names to refer to God. I like this idea because when we refer to God, what to do we say?  "Dear God..." I just feel that is a very impersonal way to connect with Him.  Here in Puerto Rico, God is often referred to as Papa Dios. This name places a very personal connotation on God as our father. When the Israelites called to Him, they would call to Him according to His characteristics and the role He played in their lives.  For example, here are some following names that I learned this week during my Bible study (Beth Moore's A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place):

• El Elyon: The Most High God
• El Shaddai: The Caregiver
• Jehovah-Shamma: The Lord is present
• Jehovah-Jireh: God will provide
• Jehovah-Rapha: God who heals

     I want to talk about Jehovah-Jireh right now, because I feel like this is the name that God has been trying to get me to grasp since I set foot in Puerto Rico. Actually, to be fair to God, I think He's been sending me this message for a long time previous to my arrival, but I just didn't care to learn it. Today I realized that prior to my arrival, I was so much blinding by what God was not providing for me (what I thought He should have been providing for me), that I didn't care to see anything else, including WHY He wasn't providing what I wanted at that time.

     God provided manna for the Israelites in the desert every single day. He provided for them what they needed WHEN they needed it. That's what He does with me, with us too. He has not only given me exactly what I need for physical life here (food, a place to live, items for my classroom, kitchen supplies, etc), but He has gone further. He cares about the basic needs of daily life, yes, but not as much as He does about our emotional, social, and spiritual needs. He has given me the fellowship that I needed so badly with all of the amazing friends here. Yet He has given me the push, the nudge, and the reasons that I needed to get back into studying the Bible and spending time with Him. Being apathetic for so long wasn't good for me, and to be the person that I have a feeling He wants me to be in life, then it was time to jump back on the bandwagon. The way I feel about God right now is nowhere close to how I felt a months ago.

Jehovah-Jireh provides for ALL needs in our lives. Keep in mind, however, that the Israelites had to wake up every morning, go out and gather the manna. He will provide for our needs, that is true, but we also have be willing to receive it.

Last thought: The Israelites gathered enough for those in their tent. Why don't we also give what God has provided to us, to those who are in need or for those who cannot gather it on their own?

And if our God is for us, then who can ever stop us?

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to

be still." 

 (Exodus 14:14 NIV)

     I came across this verse earlier this week during my Bible study. The Israelites, led by Moses, were being pursued by the Egyptians. The Israelites, feeling scared and hopeless, had a sea ahead of them and an army behind them. These were the words that were spoken to Moses just before the instructions to lift his staff and observe the miraculous rescue that would follow.

     When I read this verse the first time this week, I had chills. It's been awhile since Scripture has had that effect on me. I'm glad that it did, because this is a verse that I cannot get out of my head this week. Last night as I was at our weekly womens' Bible study I began feeling very discouraged. When I got home and began going about my business I just felt like Satan was attacking me. This state of spiritual unrest lasted about 45 minutes or so, but I kept repeating Exodus 14:14 over and over again in prayer: "Jesus, you will fight for me. I just need to be still. YOU will fight Satan off of me right now. I need to just relax."  I went to bed still feeling horrible, but had this feeling that I should get online one last time before I went to sleep. Sure enough when I got on Facebook I had an answer from God. There was a message from a friend that was expressing the complete opposite of the lie I knew Satan was throwing at me all night. It was like God was confirming my prayer... HE was fighting for me last night.

     It's a pain that Satan never seems to stop. I've noticed his plan of attack often changes though. For the past couple of years at home there was one area of my life that he tore me to shreds with. It seemed like no matter how hard I fought, there was no relief. Here in Puerto Rico, however, I know he cannot touch that area of my life, for now at least. God's made it clear to me that I have relief. But now that I have a break with that area of my life, I am noticing Satan creeping in other areas. He isn't going to give up. Once we feel one thing is conquered, he's going to change weapons on us. Someone along the line has told me that anyone who actively pursues Christ and his ministry are Satan's greatest threats. He works double time on us.  I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it sure is obvious that he isn't going to back down. He will always find ways to get at us, even if he has to switch gears for awhile. 

     With that said, then it's a relief to know that he has nothing on our God. And if God is for us, then who can ever stop us????? (And yes, that is Chris Tomlin I am quoting.)

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."