Eat, Pray, Love

Sometimes I feel like the Bible college graduate who has a wasted degree. It's as if I walked down that stage, accepted my diploma (or you know, the fake one until the REAL one comes in the mail), and BAM... my head is completely cleared and I know nothing about the Bible anymore. Of course I haven't applied all my Bible-related class knowledge to my job for the past two and a half years. Teaching in public schools and presenting programs at a public museum doesn't require (and allow for that matter) me to display my knowledge of the Scriptures to those I work with. And in all honestly, my time between college and two and half months ago wasn't filled with much ministry work on my part. But now things are different.

I always knew and dreamed that I would do missionary and ministry work. Even as a teenager I could picture my life serving in churches, leading Bible studies or whatever else I felt that I needed to do for the Kingdom. When you attend enough CIY conferences as a teen, it's really difficult to imagine a life without them :) As college ended and my career aspirations grew stronger, I sort of put those dreams to the back of my mind with the thought of "one day in the distant future." Well this morning I woke up and guess what? I am living in a new place. I am teaching at a Christian school, with Bible as a subject that I'm required to teach. I'm also serving in a new church- not only facilitating a small group for older kids, but helping to lead a Beth Moore Woman's Bible study. My life is the Bible now. I realize that I have gotten my wish- my dreams as a teenager have come true much earlier than I realized. Yet here I am feeling like I don't know the Bible at all. Last night I was faced with a conversation relating to the Hebrew nation and salvation, their lineage, etc. A conversation that I should have been able to easily say "Here's what I think and here's what the Bible says about it..." I was able to spit out a few somewhat reasonable sentences, but to be honest I was dumbfounded. I knew my position, I just didn't know why.

1 Peter 3:15 says "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."  Thank you to my highschool youth minister, because that verse will NEVER leave me, thanks to him. Okay, so last night I wasn't presented with anyone wanting me to tell them all the reasons why I believe in Christ as my Savior, however I still needed to share my convictions. Being unable to do so left me so unnerved. I got out my Bible, did some poking around the New Testament, came up with specifics to back up my belief, felt better and went to bed. But that is not good enough. This is the Word of God that I claim to believe with all my heart, mind, and soul. My dreams in life have been to serve God in ministry my whole life. I've paid thousands of dollars to get a degree in it. Why don't I know it? 

Tonight I was watching the movie Eat, Pray, Love and thinking about how interesting it would be to go on a journey around the world to re-learn myself. Then I realized that I am here, I've already begun. I don't have to go around the world. Honestly I didn't even have to move to this island. What I need to do is to study. My journey isn't about me, it's about God and about giving my life to Him. So it's time that I open up my Bible, re-visit some of my college course required texts and learn this. Because now it's time for me to really apply it to my life, and to help others. So maybe my time here won't be Eat, Pray, Love. Maybe it should be more along the lines of Learn, Pray, Love. The "Eat" part is already taken care of here in Puerto Rico!